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How Emotionally Intelligent People Deal with Difficult Persons
Negativity drains people’s wills and emotions and derails them from achieving their goals. Some people wallow in negative attitudes and thoughts, making them difficult to deal with. Unfortunately we are bound to know or run into a few of them. They may be a colleague, a boss, an in-law, or a gym classmate. In the reality of an imperfect world, we cannot always be surrounded by people we like; so, we must learn to deal with those we don’t.
It is worth knowing how to deal effectively with negative or difficult people. For one, toxic individuals can stress one out. If you are in a situation that calls for dealing with people who dish out emotional toxicity on a frequent basis, you must take steps to manage your stress from sucking out your emotional vitality.
Keeping all that negativity in check from rubbing off on you may require some forethought and effort. Here are some advice emotionally intelligent people may give you for handling toxic people:
Set Personal Boundaries
People who know their self worth are not afraid to set their boundaries and stick to them. Emotionally intelligent people have realized that they are in control of what they want or not want to do. They are equipped to handle guilt trips, anger, emotional withdrawals, and other conscious or unconscious actions people take when someone says “No” to their requests or demands.One does not have to be rude to say No. A polite but firm refusal should send the message of your limits and your expectation of respect for these limits. To illustrate: If you happen to need the day to shop, relax, and get ready for a personally important Christmas party, yet your tiresome Aunt Cora requests you to accompany her “for a little while” to do her own Holiday shopping, you can choose to politely turn her down. Yes, doing so may merit her ire especially if you have been her “yes man” for quite a while; but in the long run, she will learn that you are no pushover. More importantly, you will not think of yourself as one either.
You cannot please everyone, no matter how reasonable you are. The sooner you realize this, the better you will be at respecting yourself and sticking to your personal limits.
Pick Your Battles; Win Your Wars
Emotionally smart people know when to let go and when to dig their heels in. If you let your emotions get the better of you and get sucked into fighting a difficult adversary bent on emotional blackmail, you probably won’t make it out emotionally in one piece.Distance yourself from your emotions and take stock of how difficult people push your buttons. This way you get to analyse why they do it and how they do it. With this information, you can more or less plan how to react and how to stand your ground later on. You will also get to know where to draw your intolerance line. As the saying goes, “Know thy enemy.”
In the interim, treat difficult people with civility. Being equally rude will only serve to exacerbate their negative behaviour for which you may be scathed. So while they haven’t crossed your tolerance line, maintain poker-faced diplomacy.
No One Can Dampen Your Happiness, Unless You Allow It
People who have a strong emotional quotient tend to have high self-esteem. They do not permit anyone’s negative opinions to take away the joy from their personal accomplishments. Emotionally intelligent individuals measure their achievements against their personal capacity and the circumstantial odds stacked against them. This strong belief in self make snide remarks or overt criticisms roll like water off a duck’s back.Stick to Facts, Not What-Ifs
Negative people can leave you following disconsolately along their dismal line of thought. The trick is not to get caught up in their irrational behaviours and hopelessness. Assess the facts and controllable issues. Can something be done with these? If so, look for the solution to these. Do not waste time stressing over what you cannot control.Take Care of Yourself Physically
The mind and body are tied. A physically fit body often goes hand-in-hand with some degree of mental tenacity. A balanced diet, consistent exercise, and rest are the basic foundations to your general well-being and mental health.Physical fitness is a contributory factor to self-esteem and positivity; so being very healthy also means being more impervious to the pitfalls of stress and anxiety. In this case, difficult people have less power to stress you out.
Try to limit caffeine and alcohol consumption. This goes without saying to stay away from smoking and recreational drug consumption.
There are other ways to handle difficult people; but, the important thing is having control over your reactions. You can never control other people but only you can control your attitudes, emotions, and behaviour. Use this knowledge wisely.
References:
http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/243913
http://www.success.com/article/defend-your-boundaries-to-take-back-control
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